I am realizing something, and I will propose it as a theory.
What if all the best moments I have experienced, were not because of what I did to experience them, but because I let go to let them happen?
Letting go has been a thorn on my side for a minute now. I swear to god if one more person even thinks about bringing it up to me I will lose it. But, it’s the self-inflicting wound that I want to inspect.
Think about every single party you’ve thrown, or thing that you’ve organized. You are so tired afterwards. You don’t even enjoy the fucking thing yourself. So you sit there and keep your eyes peeled for any potential haters, opps, or crashers.
You’re so busy doing, that you forget to be.
I want to change that.
Part of what I love about life changing these days, is that I’m remembering to see it from a lens of a child.
A child who put his hands out the window and felt the wind between his hands.
To let my life feel like a never ending series where every season is a new chance to begin again.
The present moment is where god is I feel.
Because here is where I don’t have to worry about how this Substack is being perceived or who am I writing it for. It’s where I come back to doing things for me. For allowing what is to be exactly that.
And allowing all I thought life was going to be, burn in a melodramatic fire.
To cry over the ashes of an un-promised future, and do the macarena as I watch the wind carry those ashes away.
